Frozen with fear.
Part of the reason that I love this blog is that I can witness without actually seeing people. That sounds horribly introverted of me, but it's true. I'm terrified of actually having to defend my faith face-to-face because I know I'll mess up. No matter how much I prepare, read, practice, or write, I'm frozen when it comes to in-person apologetics. This has really manifested itself this week.
Instance one: I work at a boutique where different vendors come in and restock their areas. Monday, one of our vendors came in and announced she was pregnant! This was great news! She is twelve weeks along, and was talking about how, even though this baby was a "surprise," her husband and her had decided they wanted two babies, so it was perfectly fine. She kept talking and said the reason she was pregnant now was because she had been having issues with her birth control. To me, this was a light bulb moment that screamed "Insert something about NFP or why the pill doesn't work, and how things can be better!" But she glossed over the subject and quickly started talking about how her little girl was handling being a big sister. I let her - and didn't say a thing. Now I feel horrible because I know that I passed up a chance to witness to the beauty of Catholicism, and I didn't because I was afraid of saying anything.
In our apologetics class on Saturday, we were talking about knowing your audience. In this case, it was the fellow (yet "cafeteria" pick-and-choose-which-views-I-agree-with kind) Catholic, the denominational Protestant, the non-denominational Protestant, and the atheist. It was then that it hit me: this stuff is tough! The thought you have to put into what you are going to say, making sure to listen to what the other person is saying, staying in control of the conversation, and all this while not letting your emotions take over? Pressure!
Thank goodness for the Holy Spirit. I'm assuming, but I know most of my readers have received the sacrament of Confirmation, and we have been graced with the Holy Spirit's presence in our lives. This made us a soldier of God's army, and a soldier's fights are not always physical. Our call is to defend the name of God and of the Catholic Church. To not be afraid to be the one that blends in and survives, but the one that stands out and fights! To make it so obvious that you love your Catholic faith that people never have to second guess where you stand. Sometimes it's OK to stick out in a crowd.
Come Holy Spirit, fill the hearts of Your faithful and kindle in them the fire of your love. Send forth Your spirit, and we shall be created and You shall renew the face of the earth.
God bless you all,